This Easter was fun! I did a few things with Aiden that I just didn’t think he was old enough to enjoy last year.
Like, bunny juice boxes for his class party….
The Easter bunny left footprints inside the house (they had a rather baby powdery scent to them).
We planted “magic beans” that grew into lollipops overnight.
Out of a dozen, we had one egg that made it intact.
And he finally got over his fear of characters, actually posing for a picture with the over sized fluff ball. It was a joyous occasion full of candy! So much so that Aiden might of had it for breakfast and dinner and then he threw up. Parenting fail, but that makes me a cool mom, right? Right?!
When people find out you are having your first child, they are full of advice. Make sure you don’t eat nitrate filled processed meat, don’t under any circumstances have crib bumpers anywhere near his room, expect to not sleep for the next ten years, etc. The one thing I was never warned of is the immense feeling of constant guilt that happens directly after giving birth. From the time that baby is born you are worried that you have done something wrong. Maybe I didn’t try hard enough to breast feed. Should I of tried longer or hired a lactation consultant. How will this affect him? Will it stump his growth? Will he be overweight? Oh God, will it affect his brain growth, mental capacity, SAT scores? Will my selfish decision to give up trying to breastfeed prevent him from going to Harvard Law? It’ll all be my fault. His future is ruined. This is a pretty extreme example but it’s true none the less. I tried breastfeeding for four weeks. Eventually my husband walked in and said those magic words I longed to hear. “You will not be any less of a mother if we go buy formula”. He was right. But that would make me a failure. There are women out there that breastfeed their children until they can tie their own shoes. Are they better? Somehow more equipped to parent than me?
Fast forward a few months and it’s not much better. What do you mean he was suppose to have a nine month check up? I missed it? He’ll have to get extra vaccines at his one year check up to make up for it? Just kill me now. Call protective services, he deserves better. He did survive the needles of course but I felt terrible. Even now, he’s one of the first ones at daycare and usually the last to leave. And on the rare occasions that he doesn’t want to go to school and says the sweetest things like, “Can’t you stay home with me, mommy?”, it tears me up. But the truth is, kids are resilient. We, as moms, are much harder on ourselves than we need to be. Not even five minutes ago I lost my temper with Aiden. I told him that he was driving me nuts and to go to his room (He’s annoyingly whiny these days). After I had a second to cool down, I went in to apologize to him and I asked, “Do you think mommy is mean to you?”. I braced myself for the usual, “You’re not my best friend anymore!” outburst but he surprised me. He hugged me around the neck and said “You’re a good momma. You’re nice. I love you……can I have candy?”
Hello there and welcome. I’m still not exactly sure why I am starting this blog. I suppose I am hoping this will be a sort of virtual journal…. that is open to the public. I have been married since 2010 and have a son who is about to turn three. I’m trying to figure out this whole “mom thing” but it’s hard work. Throw in working full time and a husband and you could say my plate is pretty full, even overflowing at times. Here is where I will vent, ask for advice, express myself and hopefully get some much needed “me time”. It just so happens that while I was typing that last sentence, my rambunctious toddler is running through the house in a Superman costume screaming “Look, momma! I’m flyin!” Me time…that’s a joke.